In like a lion.

My flight leaves in a little over seven hours, and I can't help but feel a little bummed that it's only to Billings. It'll be nice to see the folks and my brother and the handful of dear friends that've stuck by me (despite that I'm not always the best as sticking by them), but I yearn for some adventure, y'know? Sure, sure, adventure's what you make it, but I've never really been good at.. uh.. making it (I often feel that I'm a valuable asset in an adventure, and do my best to convince myself and others that whoever my cohorts may be would, if nothing else, experience slightly less on their adventure in my absence).

But really. I want to know how far away I am from international gallery shows and speakings and signings and exhibitions that drag across the globe and back again with such frequency that I actually begin to tire of the Tokyo skyline, or the London Metro, or the Congolese gorillas (I totally threw "Congolese" in there as a joke after trying both Congan and Congoan.. I love it when the right word for something is exponentially sillier than any you'd've guessed). Or, actually, I don't want to know. Because such grandeur is probably either a lot further off than I'd like to delude myself into thinking, or it straight-up ain't going to happen.

I really must get better at looking forward.

College websites are supposed to be inviting and motivating and exciting, and to most people I imagine they are, but they pretty much just scare and intimidate me. Wild how placing a certain scenario in the right (or wrong) context can cause one to completely disregard any accumulated experience or knowledge regarding the nature of said scenario.

I don't understand why my heart beats so differently when I think about New York. I'm nowhere near even making plans to leave Seattle, but the faintest suggestion of it makes me feel a strange kind of queasy.

As much as I want to be able to drift listlessly from place to place in my life, I'm starting to doubt I have the composure such vagrance requires. Not that I'll want to settle down permanently anywhere, but I won't be able to collect every piece of me when I move from each home. I'm so scared of that vulnerability.

Sorry about all that rubbish. I'm looking forward to seeing the other xSpicexGirlsx and working on our hardcore "Wannabe" cover! I think I'm starting to like Christmas! I got a space heater and am no longer shivering in my studio! I have a new track frame on the way! I might get to go skiing while in Montana! Dan gets home soon! All positive things!

Go check out my site! I added some stuff and made a very small change to a very insignificant link!

Exclamation point!

P.S.: I think it's about time this blog got a facelift, don't you? Maybe soon!